Becoming

I am legally and officially Zara by both government and family.  Many people think that by changing my name I have finally become the person I always thought and felt I was but its the other way around. I am becoming the person I always wanted to be.

The main characteristic of this person is that she does not care what others think.  In the past I exerted so much energy trying to make everyone happy and to do right by them. Caring entirely too much whether they liked my outfit or not, if my latest crush likes me back, or whether I am in with the "cool" kids or not. But not Zara.

Believe me, I understand that I am still the same person no matter what my name is but only to a certain extent. I believe that there are some things in a persons personality that can not be changed and others that can. Some things only take the simple decision of choice to change. And that is all that I am doing. Choosing to change.

Now understand me clearly. The past 18 years of my life have been filled with joy, happiness, some sorrow and hurt, a little regret, but most of all knowledge. Although those years were good I have learned some things that must change in order for me to enjoy the rest of my life to the fullest.

The word insanity means to do the same thing over and over again and expect a different result. If I do not change something than that is just what I am doing.  It may seem like an obvious solution to some but it was not for me, but none the less I have come to the same conclusion. Stop listening and care what others think of you so much. And that is just what I intend to do. Its what I must do.  Because I am going to live the life I have imagined for myself.

I write you for the first time legally as Zara.
-Z