A First For Everything

Generally speaking, the first time you do just about anything is the scariest. But i believe that fear should never stop you from doing something and quiet honestly if your scared to do it, it usually was worth doing in the long run. 

 So with that said I am throwing my first sleepover. Yes I know it is a little late for me to be doing it but there is a first time for everything. I have been Home schooled for all but two years of my life. Since I am home schooled I have often felt like I have missed out on alot of social events like parties and sleepovers. The fact that i naturally stay to myself and am extremely shy does not help. I am glad like never before that my younger sister is a total social butterfly. If she is not texting someone she is facebook chatting them. If shes not facebooking them then shes skyping them. She is constantly talking to someone. She is invited to a sleepover or party just about every weekend so she has experience in sleepovers. I am having it the second week in March so ill let you know how it goes. Although I have no idea how it is going to turn out I am excited for it. In life you cant blame other people for you missing out on opportunities nor can you just sit back and expect everything to fall out perfectly in your life. Sometimes you must take matters into your own hands. 

 I am well aware that a sleepover is not a life changing event but for me its proving something to myself. Its proving that i have friends who like me for who I am, even in my most awkward and embarrassing moments. I have always felt like my friends are judging me or waiting for me to do something dumb so they can make fun of me. But that's not the truth. Spending this time with them I believe will prove to myself that they like me simply for who I am and that I can be all the way comfortable around them. I hope all goes well!

-Z

Simply Not Real

Have you ever made up a relationship in your head? Over analyzed someones every move or word said to you that you convince yourself that they like you? Well I have. Most of my so called "relationships" have been like that. I think they like me because I read too much into how they look at me or the way they act around around me. And then because I think they like me I start to like them. It sounds so weird when I actually write it out but this is what i do. The worst part of doing this is when you wake up and are realize the harsh reality that he does not like you at all. For me this epiphany usually comes when he starts to date my friend and i realize that there was never anything there. I have to stop doing this. There is no happy ending when I do this. I just need to stop doing this... end of story.

-Z