Dear Non Existent Prom Date,

Well no date this year which = no prom for me. Your the one missing out, not me... even if it does seem like its the other way around! Don't worry though this time next year ill be writing about an existing prom date. But why did you ask her? Shes so superficial and narcissistic! So what shes cute and short. "fun sized". blah blah blah. i on the other hand stand at a fine height of 5'9 and am awesome! I can also carry an intelligent conversation that is not about me. And most importantly I like you not just because you are physically attractive but because you have a great personality, really fun to be around and you are very respectful to everyone around you. Well hope you have fun this year with Ms. Artificial!